Excavation Practice: sexual history

Excavation Sexual History: Your Personal Journey


First, the present is informed by the past. Many of us have found that the past has taught us values and beliefs that are no longer current or true for us today.

One of the ways to come current with the present is to review the past.

The sexual history practice is a self discovery process for YOU. I have often revisited this at different phases of my journey as new things arise and I have different memories and experiences. Therefore this is a practice.

To get the most out of this exercise. 

  • Confirm that you are in a safe, comfortable grounded space.
  • I recommend setting a timer for a specific amount of time and/or completing it in multiple settings.
  • Encourage yourself to get out in nature. Take a break. Do something creative before & after journaling.
  • Get support from your coach or support person if you find the process to be triggering.
  • Journal about how you felt about the process of writing your history
  • Know that you can always destroy the writing if: you don't want anyone to read it or as a declaration of you coming current into the present and accepting your past.


Date of Birth:

Relationship status:

Present sexual identity

Present gender identity/ pronouns:

Present living situation:

List Age and describe situations below:

1st sexual feeling:
1st wet dream or erotic dream
1st masturbation
1st sexual attraction
1st date
1st sexual contact
Age of 1st period
Age of menopause
1st orgasm:
Date of last orgasm:

Any Type of hormone supplement used: (RX or natural/ OTC)

How long has the hormone supplement been used?

What birth control and safer sex practices/methods have you used in the past and currently use? what seems to work best for you toady? How often do you practice safer sex?


Right brief answers for the following prompts:

1) What childhood messages about sex/sexuality did you receive (family, religious,

culture/society)? Of those, how might they affect your sexuality today?

2) What are any concerns you may have about your sexuality right now? Why are you here (For

example, feelings about your sexual performance, feelings about your relationship, your body or

about masturbation)?

3) What are any concerns you may have about gender identity and expression ?

4) What are any concerns you may have about sexual preferences?

5) What are any concerns you may have about relationship status?

6) What are any concerns you may have about your work,  family,  lifestyle? Pertaining to your sexuality and personal relationships ?

7) What have been your experiences with achieving orgasm? Alone? With a partner?

8) What have been your experiences with self-pleasuring or masturbating yourself?

9) What is your present pattern and frequency for self-pleasuring/ masturbation?

10) How did and how do you feel about your body (as a child, growing up, as a young adult and


11) Describe the history of your sexual relationships.

  • Reminder to confirm you are in a safe grounded space. Especially when reviewing traumatic or intense experiences.
  • Tip: You may simply list 'intense experiences' and not describe them, if that feels better to you.
  • Take extra time if you need to journal about experiences, including neg and positive.
  • What sexual activities you have experienced? how did you feel about them at the time vs now?
  • Notice the issues and conflicts that have emerged for you in intimate relationships because of stigma, judgment or praise.
  • Finally, don't forget all the good stuff too!
  • You don't have to do it all in one sitting, write as little or as much as you wish.

12) Describe any feelings you may have about having sexual contact with your present or

possible sexual partner(s):

13) Describe your present sexual interactions, such as intercourse or masturbation, turn-on’s,

your present pattern for sexual pleasure, how often, your current number of partners, etc.:


14) How often do you think about or desire to have sex?

15) Have you taken the Erotic Blueprint Quiz? If so, what are the results?

16) Are you interested in being trained in bodywork, such as erotic massage/touch and sensation item play?

17) Do you wish to have a sexological anatomy lesson?

18) Do you want to work with a sex surrogate?

19) Are you currently seeing a psychotherapist, coach or body worker?

20) Do you want a referral to a psychotherapist or body worker?

21) Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions that may affect your sexuality? (For

example, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease…) if so describe

22) List any prescribed medications currently taking. such as for hypertension, diabetes,

depression, anxiety or cardiovascular disease, supplements

23) What products or services have you used to enhance your sexual experience? What ones would you like to try?

24) What are your long-term relationship and sexual goals?

25) What is your primary goal/purpose/intention for exploring sexuality? What do you hope to achieve?

26) What have you tried in the past to achieve your goals? what worked? what did not?

27) Write here anything else related to your past or present experiences. Include anything that

may be important for me to know, so that I may assist you toward reaching your sexual goals:

28) How willing are you to commit to your sexual success, and allow yourself to your sexual pleasure? (1-5)