What question do sex coaches get asked the most? How to talk to your partner about sex
One of the most common questions I am asked as a sex coach is
How do I talk to my partner about sex?
First, you don't want to hurt their feelings or make them feel rejected. Second you may not know exactly what to say or how to start the conversation. Third, maybe it's not all bad and you just want to spice it up, you don't want them to think something is wrong....all theses thoughts and more!
Many individuals desire to enhance their pleasure in life but often find it challenging to initiate a conversation with their partner about it. Discussing something as personal and vulnerable as sexuality can be intimidating.
Here are some effective ways to kickstart a conversation about spicing up your relationship with your partner.
1. Utilize "Sex, Love and Goop" as an Easy Conversation Starter
One simple way to broach the topic is by referencing the Netflix show "Sex, Love and Goop." The show follows the journey of several couples working with sexuality professionals, including Jaiya and the Erotic Blueprints™, a featured modality on the program.
Imagine you and your partner are casually surfing Netflix on the couch. You stumble upon the show or decide to look it up and start watching. You can then share your discovery with your partner:
"Hey, I found this fascinating show on Netflix about couples spicing up their relationship. Would you like to watch it with me?"
"I came across a Netflix series about couples improving their relationship. It's called 'Sex, Love and Goop.' Let's check it out together."
"While watching 'Sex, Love and Goop' on Netflix, they talked about something intriguing called the Erotic Blueprints(tm) . There's even an online quiz to discover your own blueprint. Would you be interested in taking it with me?"
2. Start with the Blueprint Quiz
Another easy way to initiate the conversation is through the Erotic Blueprints quiz. You can simply share the quiz link with your partner and engage them in a discussion about your results:
"Look, I found this online quiz about how people experience pleasure. I took it, and it says I'm a 'shape shifter.' Here's the link. I'm curious about your results."
"Have you heard of this quiz about pleasure and sexuality? Let's take it together; it seems like fun."
3. Direct Communication for a Deeper Connection
Sometimes, a more direct conversation is needed to explore this vulnerable topic. Here are some ways to express your desires and feelings openly:
"I deeply cherish our intimate moments and value our time together. I'm eager to explore how we can enhance both pleasure and our relationship."
"I love you dearly, and our connection is amazing. Sexually, I'd like to elevate our experiences. Can we discuss ways to make that happen?"
"Recently, I've been curious about our sexuality and want to explore it further with you. What do you think?"
4. Navigating Vulnerability
Talking about sexuality can make anyone feel vulnerable. If you're anxious about broaching the subject, consider these approaches on how to talk to your partner about sex:
"I love you, and there's something I want to discuss that's making me nervous."
"Right now, I have this anxious feeling in my stomach and tension in my throat because I want to talk about something vulnerable. Can we chat about it?"
"My feelings are a bit all over the place, and I'm feeling a bit nervous, but I'd like to discuss our sex life and pleasure. Would you be open to that conversation? Is this a good time, or should we schedule it for later?"
Remember, setting a time container for your conversation can help ensure both partners feel comfortable and connected. You can pause and continue the discussion as needed.
Schedule a call with me and let me know how the conversation goes 🙂