How To Have Better Sex – Why Men Crave Sex

Why is it that we assume that men crave sex? In the 10 years that I have been offering sexuality coaching for men, I have found that our society does not allow for vulnerable men. Men are painted into a corner where they are told that they cannot be emotionally vulnerable, that they cannot show emotions other than anger and stoicism. Connection with other people is looked down on.

Perhaps the reason men crave sex is because we only allow them the space to experience joy, pleasure, and touch is through sexual contact.

Unfortunately, we dictate the opposite but equally irrelevant rules to women. Women are to be demure, weak, and quiet. They are to be touched without explicit consent. The act of enjoying pleasure is not meant for good-natured women that make wives and mothers.  

No wonder we have such a disconnect between people who choose to be in a sexual relationship! We are being told two completely different messages, neither of which are accurate.

The simple truth of the matter is that no matter your gender, it is completely normal, healthy, and even encouraged to feel a wide array of emotions. I’ve found through sexuality coaching with my clients that when men are desiring connection, touch, and intimacy they sometimes use sex as their way to get it. This is their default, as it’s the only way men have been told they can receive these things. 

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to ask for and experience intimacy and touch without it being under the guise of sex?

I work with all genders in helping them understand their emotional drives, and how to fulfill them. The word “arouse” means to evoke or awaken, although we have used it so often only in a sexual context. Arousal merely means that you see something that evokes an emotion or a sensation in the body. Don’t you want to feel a sense of arousal without it needing to lead to sex?

I invite you to examine your arousal and your feelings around intimacy and sex.

What you are feeling is ultimately a result of your past programming and experiences. It is a mirror of you.

But it is a mirror you can change.

If you would like to explore your thoughts around arousal, connection, intimacy, and so much more, contact me today. Together we can work towards you finding your ultimate state of wholeness, not simply living in a state of duality.